We extend our congratulations to the British people on the nuptials of the royal couple. We’re very happy for our British friends and express our love for British culture, shoes, and music. We do not express gratitude for British food at this time, however.
Royalty is the new version of a celebrity in modern times. The difference in notoriety of icons such as Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, or Charlie Sheen and Prince Charles is that after Charlie Sheen goes to Bourbon heaven, his children will be wealthy but won’t be celebrities unless they go on a cocaine binge (allegedly). However, Prince Charles’ offspring will have celebredom for generations to come.
Living in the U.S. –the land of the free– we can’t quite grasp for the necessity of freeloaders who stay on the payroll of taxpayers indefinitely. It would make more sense to help victims of the Japan disaster than spend so much money on such an extravagant event at someone else’s expense.
Nonetheless, one positive trend of royalty of any kind coming from activist royals is that they instituted gem stone engagements. Finally, a knight in shining armor stood his ground and tried to slay the Dragon of DeBeers with a magic blue stone.
We applaud the British monarchs who stand tall against the diamond cartel who are shoving crystallized carbon down our throats.
It is perfectly acceptable to get engaged using a classy sapphire or any other natural colored stone. This won’t diminish the amount of love or loyalty two people share with one another.
Of course, it’s always difficult to be a trendsetter. It’s not that simple to persuade someone who’s raised on the diamond engagement ring dogma, that a sapphire is just as majestic. It’s not a sign of stinginess; it’s merely another option.
Regardless, we could imagine a conversation that took place in the Buckingham Palace kitchen circa October, 2010 after Kate Middleton recovered from the Kenyan yellow fever:
Kate Middleton: Sapphire? Sapphire! Where’s the diamond???
Prince William: But darling, a sapphire is a bloody good stone. The ring is almost new. Look at it, it’s brilliant!
Kate Middleton: Brilliant my arse! It’s a hand-me-down. Your mother used to wear it, didn’t she?
Wait a minute… is this heated??? Does it even come with a certificate? What am I going to say when I take it to an appraiser? I always suspected you were cheap but not royally cheap.
Prince William: You silly girl. It takes real class to acknowledge the value of a sapphire. But it’s ok, it will come to you with time.
Kate Middleton: Are you calling me a commoner?
Prince William: No, I’m calling you a shrek in a frock!
Russian Emperor Alexander II gave his wife Empress Maria Alexandrovna, a gorgeous sapphire –she didn’t complain.
Kate Middleton: Hers was probably over 250 carats. Mine is only 18! Look at it, it’s an old lady’s ring. I wanted an elegant micro pavé halo. If you really wanted to give me a sapphire you
should have gone with Leon Megé’s ring from http://www.micropave.com.
Prince William: I did call him but he told me that I ask too many questions and blacklisted me!
Kate Middleton: Bloody fool! Why didn’t you just let him do his job? Don’t you love me?
Prince William: But of course! I love you more than Grey Poupon. What if I would get you the lead role on Housewives of Buckingham Palace.
Kate Middleton: (Stunned. After a pause…)
You would? Really? Oh darling, you do love me!
Prince William: So… shall we shag now or shall we shag later?
We were obviously not witness to this conversation, and can’t promise that it actually occurred. However, we are glad that more people will start using sapphires in their engagement rings.
The diamond wasn’t even the standard engagement ring stone until the 19th century. Throughout history sapphires were a preferred stone among royalty. Queen Victoria’s State Crown houses a sapphire which journeyed through the hands of kings and cardinals since 1214. Catherine the Great’s “unidentified lover” presented her with a gorgeous sapphire which she cherished. King Edward VII’s ring to Queen Alexandra didn’t feature a single diamond. It had beryls, emeralds, rubies, topazes, jacinth and emeralds.
We’ve completed a full circle and are now returning to colored gems as center stones for engagement rings. As with most trends in fashion, we look to the past to establish the future. The spectrum of engagement should include all colors of the rainbow, not just diamonds.